Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mowing the Grass

I guess the yard just isn't suppose to get mowed!

Begin lawn mowing story YESTERDAY!

Sun shining brightly, hardly a cloud in the sky...move car...start mower...mow one lap around front out of gas...coast the mower (choking and sputtering) to Bill's garage...fill gas tank...get dog out to field...shut mower off...screw dog cable into ground...find damn dog...chain her up...get on mower...start mower...wind blowing like a lap around field...huge rain drops start is blacker than Oreo...grab dog...leaving cable behind...beat our ass back to the garage...back mower in...bail to car...a grassy AND wet Oreo beat me in the front seat...moved her ass out of the way...pulled car into garage...get out of car...get Oreo out of car...shut car door while keeping Oreo out of the blasted vehicle...get out of garage...get Oreo out of garage...shut garage door...hit Oreo with garage up board walk...get to house...stumble through door with Oreo between my legs. house. and I'm wet, grassy, pissed and somewhat bemused! And it rained for the next five hours! Hmmmph, guess I ain't planting the garden either!
FF to today at 11:30... Let's put today in a nut shell...cuz I've been out mowing...or trying to mow for the past 6 hours! Let's see...I learned my lesson yesterday...Oreo is NOT mowing with me again!!! So I tied her to the swing set and started to mow. Mowed the entire front yard, no problem...started the back yard and ran out of gas...filled the gas tank and headed out to the field...mowed 2/3 of the field, mower keeps stalling out in the high grass...I ran over a dead and half-rotted opossum...then ran over the shotgun shell that killed decomp'in 'possom...limped the barely running mower to house. Can't find I parked it right in the middle of his driveway and came into the house.
I did some house chores until he came dragging his butt home from Challengsworth's garage. He proceeds to fix mower (throttle cable came loose and vibrated off, hence the stalling out and no power). He finished and was, I decide to go to town for stuff to make raspberry pie. Came home and he was in the garage working on something else. Sooo, I ventured out to see how the yard was. Now I should have known better...the mower was NOT in my garage...after 23 years of this man...I should have known the yard wasn't finished! Yup, he did about three circles and a couple paths through every single piece of unmowed grass we own!!!! If there is one thing I can not stand it's big loopies cut out of a square piece of unmowed grass...that I have to square back up and mow!!! GRRRRRR....
Anyway, I hopped back on the mower and started squaring it up to mow...I finished the back yard...the horse pasture and the little bit of the field I didn't get done...and it was blowing and getting dark...and raining HUGE drops of rain...I beat it to the the mower in the garage, got my car in the garage...ran to Bill's garage and put up the Taurus windows and the truck's windows while he pushed motorcycles and stuff back into the garage. Now, on the way back to the house I remembered that I didn't mow under the bird feeders or back by the blue shed. Now I'm pissed...been mowing for two days and still don't have it all finished! Damn good thing I have three days in a row off....I need it all just to mow the yard!
Anyway...raspberry dessert is the fridge...coleslaw is made and ready to go. And Billy is driving us both crazy with his indecisions. And with that...I'm heading to mom's for supper...WITHOUT the kid; until he makes up his mind...and without posting this entry because he's on the *&^%$%# phone BTW, it's no longer raining...and the sun is shining! Oh yea, and I'm more than a little peeved! Here's hoping everyone's holiday weekend is going better than mine!!! ;o)

BTW, don't wear Crocs and prop you feet up on the mower for three hours in the bright sunlight. Yup, I have sunburn dots on my feet...13 of them to be exact!


At 5/28/2007 07:40:00 AM, Blogger Frances said...

Denise, just reading about your mowing makes me even more glad that every Monday some very nice men come to my house, mow, weed wack , edge and send a bill!!! WELL worth it! Bob never wanted to mow it was always too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry and when it was that mysterious perfect time the lawn mower was always broken. I don't even own a lawn mower anymore!

At 5/28/2007 07:45:00 PM, Blogger Katya said...

Oh Denise, this is too funny. Sorry to laugh at your expense, but it just hits my funny bone. Poor Oreo probably was clueless as to why you would get so upset! (they don't understand things like mowing and such, after all!)

I certainly hope you were able to at least catch your breath and put your feet up for a FEW minutes!

At 5/30/2007 05:31:00 PM, Blogger Becky said...

Denise! i know i should be sympathetic, but I about PMP's reading that!!!!!!!!


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